Divide by cucumber error. Please reinstall universe and reboot.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

The grandeur of the thieving falsity is larceny, the fall of cities.

I was a young rebel and really just wanted to be tatted with a shaved head. When I did it, I cried for a week.

And we just went with Julie because that name hadn't been used in any other popular songs at the time.

You can never judge a paint hue by the liquid color in the paint pot. You must apply it to a wall, wait for the paint to dry, then decide.

Life ain't easy. Terrible things happen to everyone. You have to keep your sense of humor, give something of yourself to others, make friends who are younger than you, learn new things, and have fun.

Freedom of navigation through international waterways is critical to the international community and to nations in the region, including Iran.

The only difference between you today and a year from now are the people you know and what you have learned.

Does anyone know if Lamborghini makes wheelchair vehicles? If not, I want to change that.

The person I fear most in the last two rounds is myself.

It's the things that we know FOR SURE, that just ain't so, that get us into trouble.