DISABUSE, v.t. To present your neighbor with another and better error than the one which he has deemed advantageous to embrace.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Choosing not only the battle but also the timing is the best way to deal with what may occur.

You can't fix stupid

Singing, dancing, and acting! The part [of Roxie in Let It Shine] was right up my alley. Plus, the thought of playing a rock star was like a dream for me.

A man who thinks too much about his ancestors is like a potato-the best part of him is underground.

Now I don't really write for adults or kids - I don't write for kids, I write about them. I think you need to do that, otherwise you end up preaching down.

Knowledge and action combined can win over any adversity known to man.

You go ahead, stand still, or go backwards in life. Your objective should be to go ahead.

I think eating in itself is the act of great sensuality, so all you have to do is point the camera in the right direction.

Even at its most perceptive, sociology deals in abstractions.

Prison makes you a better judge of character. You pick up on people much faster.