Clearly, I'm way older than everyone.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

What she remembered is undoubtedly something so radically different from the image I gave to her memory that the two may be incompatible.

The one who tells the stories rules the world.

Making something is HardMaking something you don't even CARE ABOUT isEVEN HARDER .

There is meaning in every journey that is unknown to the traveler.

I hope to work with kids any way possible.

I don't have all the answers.

Sometimes I get scared that I’m going to enter a web address into Twitter thinking it was my browser. That would be bad.

And then there's the personal question so many of Lassie's fans want to ask: Is he allowed on the furniture? Of course he is-but, then, he's the one who paid for it.

Where there's liberty, art succeeds.

If the Bible is what it claims to be, how can we allow it to remain on a bookshelf?