Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

There is a lot of willful incompetence in the wireless radio frequency (RF) radiation industry that is in the process of coming to light.

This (San Francisco) is the most beautiful city in America, Probably because it looks nothing like America

An inspection of the Constitution will show that the right of property in a slave in not "distinctly and expressly affirmed" in it.

The life of many a person could probably be changed if only someone would make him feel important.

When I lose a match, I know that I lose on the court and not in life.

Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life.

It really takes likeable superstars to get the attention of the masses.

Frankly, the people probably most interested in having computer lists on disk are junk mail vendors and solicitors.

Artist development is something that I've been passionate about from my days at Uptown and Motown Records.

The strange thing about the sunset is that we actually don't want the sun to set, we want it to stay right on the horizon, not below it, not above it, just right on it!