Call me 'Tuk-Tuk', and keep saying it, but remember I am the captain of Pakistan.

Everyone remember's the last shot of World T20 2007, but forget who brought the match to the last over.

It is very easy to point fingers at others sitting at home, but very difficult to play the game.

I am an average player, but even the great players don't have an average of 42, with a strike-rate of 75.

Nice! There's no fun in nice. I'll be myself and you'll all love me for it.

...even good marriages sometimes involve flinging a remote control at the wall.

A cynic is a man who when he smells flowers looks around for a coffin.

Jobs was brave enough to think differently, bold enough to believe he could change the world, and talented enough to do it.

So I kept it to myself. Then some of my classmates started to come down to the comedy club, taking a girl out, and they started finding out I was a stand-up comedian.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!

Voting for the right is doing nothing for it.

When I watch comedy I love to see that pleasure in the performer's eye and that sense of cheek - and even those moments when you can see someone is trying not to laugh.

He bit the nape of my neck and I moaned.

But if at church they would give some ale. And a pleasant fire our souls to regale. We'd sing and we'd pray all the live long day, Nor ever once from the church to stray.