[CNN, USA Today] they've got 24 hours to fill. You know, how many times can Anna Nicole Smith's baby get a new father?

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Cut not the wings of your dreams, for they are the heartbeat and the freedom of your soul.

We should not only attend church but must have a ministry in the church as well

Karma means changing planes of reality or changing fields of attention. There will be perhaps a resulting physical action stemming from the change of these fields of attention.

We have a terrific economy, it's like a great athlete that's had a cardiac arrest.

If you make the choice to serve the public, public service, then serve the public, not yourself.

I tried to tell you that it's not Spade in there." "You could have tried harder. I absolutely never needed to know that Ian was pierced down there.

I let go of all negativity that rests in my body and mind

If you fall, you fall," Elodin shrugged. "Sometimes falling teaches us things too." In dreams you often fall before you wake.

The only question I ever ask any woman is, 'what time is your husband coming home?'

If you have a past with which you feel dissatisfied, then forget it. Now.