Bush's popularity is at 40% in South America? He could be their president!

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Most of the people who attempt to draw back the success of the world are those who don’t care about anything. They live life every day without asking why.

I feel sorry for Rick Astley, one day he is going to die and nobody will know about it for weeks because nobody will want to click the link.

Poets aren't very useful because they aren't consumeful or very produceful.

Politics are very much like war. We may even have to use poison gas at times.

Beliefs should be like the rest of life, and real life isn't rules but learning and adaption.

The only way you can continue to make artistic films is to make an occasional one of those. They kind of keep your marketability going to the extent that people will employ you.

We may outgrow the things of children, without acquiring sense and relish for those which become a man.

I'm not at all sure that the concept of the readymade isn't the most important single idea to come out of my work.

When I try to describe myself to God I say, 'Lord, remember me? Black? Female? Six-foot tall? The writer?' And I almost always get God's attention.