Brooklyn is the only place where a guy can open up a candy store sell no candy and gross over eight million dollars a year.

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.

The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75. Walked back out in the street - genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

Fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 per cent end in death.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.

Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower.

OH, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN THE STOCKING THAT MAKES A NOISE, said Death. OTHERWISE, WHAT IS 4:30 A.M. FOR?

We must seize every opportunity we can to speak the truth and proclaim peace. Especially now. There's so little time for many.

Five is the very awkwardest of all posible numbers to sit down to table.

A vow must lead one upwards, never downwards towards perdition.

It's like, how did Columbus discover America when the Indians were already here? What kind of s-- is that, but white people's s--?

If we do our deficit spending on weapons, at least we get weapons. Then if we need weapons, we have them. If we don't need them, no harm is done.

I am a mountain goat that keeps going and going and going, I cannot be stopped, I just keep going.

He didn't ask what I was thinking, which was out of character for him. I guessed that meant that he was just as nervous as I suddenly was.

In a perfect world, I would do 3 weeks on 3 weeks off; so that I could always take a breather and come back to music with a fresh mind.

My parents are awesome, but they're pretty left-wing.