Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

LOVE is and will ALWAYS be the greatest GIFT ƸӜƷ

In the Belgian backwaters, south of Bruges, there lives a reclusive English composer, named Vyvyan Ayrs. You won’t have heard of him because you’re a musical oaf, but he’s one of the greats.

I also believe that member states of the United Nations should live up their obligations to pay their dues.

All people are half actors.

The muse holds no appointments. You can never call on it. I don't understand people who get up at 9 o'clock in the morning, put on the coffee and sit down to write.

The Lord will give you, if you ask, the feelings of the compassion He feels for those in need.

The calendar? A mere convention.

I try to do something the audience might not have seen before.

Love is the natural condition of all experience before thought has divided it into a multiplicity and diversity of objects, selves and others.

Orders can be benign or malign, but the habit of obeying them can become ingrained.