Before any exposure on TV, I'm a real chef.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

Grace is released more abundantly as you work.

Don't take giant leap to make your life better. Just enjoy every minute of your life

Patience is learned through waiting

The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

I search for surprise in my architecture. A work of art should cause the emotion of newness.

I am capable of being idle.

If you take away the fancy graphics of today's games, most of the time you're left with a shell of a game that has been done to death a million times.

Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades.

When people make judgments they close all the possibility around them.

There is no feeling to be compared with the feeling of having written and finished a story.