Azhar Usman is very funny, deeply spiritual, and extremely hairy. He's like Zach Galifianakis meets Deepak Chopra-and funnier than you'd expect that combination to be.

Self-worth and financial worth become indistinguishable.

I don't make the stereotypes, I just see them.

If you're politically correct, chances are you're not coming to one of my shows. I get to go onstage and say things that everybody thinks all the time, but can't say out loud.

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white.

I DJ and I'm a harsh critic of DJs.

Stand-up and boxing are very similar. You're the only one out there, you're going into a fight, and you're going in with a game plan.

I'm not a media darling. I'm forever the outsider, for whatever the reason is.

Who I am on stage is just an amped up version of who I am in real life.

I do a lot of cultural material that's based on my traveling around the world. I basically just report what I've seen and where I've been.

I love being a dad, and I'm a great dad.

Authentic personal brands are built on the foundation of purpose

There is a door we all want to walk through and writing can help you find it and open it.

I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life.

Just being able to express myself and reach so many other people by doing so is really great!

Clothes can be important. I am learning this. For instance, often when I design and I wonder what is the point, I think of someone having a bad time in their life.

I try never to be governed by fear; that's how I choose things.

Talks on art are almost useless. The work which goes to bring progress in one's own subject is sufficient compensation for the incomprehension of imbeciles.

Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it.

Your fantasies are unlikely. But beautiful.

Raised voices lower esteem. Hot tempers cool friendships. Loose tongues stretch truth. Swelled heads shrink influence. Sharp words dull respect.