As far as I'm concerned, I'm a writer who's writing books, and therefore, I don't want to die. You'd miss the end of the book, wouldn't you? You can't die with an unfinished book.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

We are programmed to succeed from birth, but we deprogram ourselves with believes

He liked to like people therefore people liked him.

No one told you to call your band Salacious Mold, my friend." "We're Millennium Lint now," Simon protested

In many cases bands have a lot to overcome, business being what it is.

Keeping a feminine approach is vital - men hate bossy females.

Familiarity breeds attempt.

Memory is a poet, not an historian.

Someone's writing down your mistakes, someone's documenting your downfall.

Several times we were stranded in strange places without any money and with our credit cards cancelled - trapped in a hotel that we couldn't check out of because we had no money to check out.

History says that I'm one of the best pound-for-pound, and I won't stop until I'm number one.