Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out?

Does Hallmark make a “Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner” card? I settled for “How much do you remember?

My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa.

Misery, thy name is Mudslide

Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students.

Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD.

I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked.

Idiot, " I said, before grinning broadly and crushing his mouth to mine. "We need to pick new pet names for each other, " he muttered as I hefted myself up from the ground.

She's your mother. I asked, Plus, you do look a bit like her. When you're angry, you both get these tense lines around your mouth...Look, there they are.

Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs.""I was curious!

Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory.

No situation is beyond God’s control. Over my wife’s desk are these words: “Fear not the future

Make sure you live, ' she said. 'As decent as you can. I know you'll make mistakes, but sometimes you're meant to, okay?

Win told me that one isn’t improved by being at the top of the mountain, one is improved by the climb.

I write early in the morning, usually after reading portions of at least half a dozen newspapers on the web.

If your goals aren’t synced with the substance of your heart, then achieving them won’t matter much.

The Pythagoreans degrade impious men into brutes and, if one is to believe Empedocles, even into plants.

The question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be... The nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists.

When a man bores a woman, she complains. When a woman bores a man, he ignores her.

It's a tragedy, but with your support and your help we will wage this fight and we're going to win it.

I would love to have a number one hit. The truth is if I don't get one, I'll be fine, but at the same time, the truth is that I'm dying for one, as well.