Another thing rappers, I admire your rebellious spirit, but materialism is a form of mental slavery. Slow down on the jewelry, pick up a book.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Sometimes things need shaking up. You’ve got to test the limits.

One's eyes are what one is, one's mouth is what one becomes.

It is difficult to get organic food at most restaurants, so when possible, eat at home. When not, do your best.

...the first casualty (of this crisis) had been the United Nations. It would need an immense effort, an almost superhuman effort, to restore the prestige of that organization

I'm getting older now, so I should think about a family, but certainly not tomorrow.

Stupidity has a certain charm - ignorance does not.

To the receptive soul the river of life pauseth not, nor is diminished.

We outsmarted ourselves and raised the bar even higher, I think.

God sometimes does His work with gentle drizzle, not storms.

If you look at what you have in life, you'll always have more. If you look at what you don't have in life, you'll never have enough.