All men come to resemble their fathers. That isn't a tragedy. But you need a hell of a sense of humor to handle it.

Because a rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose.

All flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that's like women too.

I can't feel bad about being who I am, just like the girl next to me can't feel bad about being who she is. Because a rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose.

We all have bad days, but one thing is true; no cloud is so dark that the sun can't shine through.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

I must have been a koala in my past life.

[Autobiographies] are all the same - it's always rags-to-riches or I-slept-with-so-and-so. Damned if I'm going to say that.

If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.

Persistence separates those who want it more.

Pel-i-cans, their beaks hold more than their bellies can.

Life is all about flexibility”.

A winner is a person, who is programmed for victory in advance

You may share the labors of the great, but you will not share the spoil.

My mom was Sicilian, my dad was Sicilian. Mom was a great cook, but all the women were.

I find you offensive for finding me offensive

Customer needs may vary, but their bias for quality never does.

Holy Angels, our advocates, our brothers, our counselors, our defenders, our enlighteners, our friends, our guides, our helpers, our intercessors - Pray for us.