All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

Relationships are at the heart of your wellbeing and happiness. Nurture them and they will nurture you.

Don't take it personal. Whether people like or dislike you, it most probably is because of your beliefs, principles, and values...

I don't think about relatability (when writing), I think about the heart of the character.

As far as a cocktail, I do like good wines, basically with meals, and good champagnes.

I try to grow like a tree, and hope that I can reach my full potential by the end of this short life. Change is good but growth is better.

Please don't ask me to do that which I've just said I'm not going to do, because you're burning up time. The meter is running through the sand on you, and I am now filibustering.

It is essential to our interest and the security of our colonies that the several nations or tribes of Indians... who live under our protection, should not be molested or disturbed.

There's no such thing as no chance.

We are but older children, dear, Who fret to find our bedtime near.

Indeed, it is that ambiguity and ambivalence which often is so puzzling in women