Agnostics are just atheists without balls.

A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?

All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.

Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.

America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best." Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children." We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies.

Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.

After Jesus showed up, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word coun

All weather is sin-related. Lust causes thunder, anger causes fog, and you don't want to know what causes dew.

That's not a religion, that's Pokemon.

... had to pee like a racehorse at an Iced Tea convention.

Endurance is more important than truth because without endurance there can't be any truth. And truth means going to the end like you mean it. That way, death itself comes up short when it grabs

Clovis believed that if a lie was worth telling it was worth telling well.

I was feeling single, seeing double, wound up in a whole lotta trouble.

Intrinsic value follows meaning follows form follows economics follows function follows more economics follows market research.

I love to kind of people watch; that's part of what I do as an actor and creative person and sort of step back and watch others.

Frankly, I didn't know how I would react to Apple's over-hyped MP3 player until I used one. Now I would have a hard time parting with it: Consider me converted.

I used to joke for years that I was a black man. I adopted the black culture, the black race. I married a black woman, and I had black kids. I always considered myself a 'brother.'

It really is understanding how to use money, and not let money use you.

I always thought I was sort of awkward and goofy-looking. I'm still kind of gangly.