Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Success is not achieved in a vacuum: the people you spend most of your time with and the voices you allow to influence your thoughts play a significant part in your success or lack of it.

A regular meditation practice is one of the highest forms of self-love.

People think of education as something they can finish.

I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?

The only freedom of choice you have is the ability to define your own path and destiny.

So many times in my life, people have tried to make me a failure.

Poor is the man whose future depends on the opinions and permission of others. Remember this, if you are afraid of criticism, you will die doing nothing!

Freddie Mercury taught me 3 thingsdon't take anything too seriously, have fun and always fly first class.

While living in exile I have become the loudspeaker for the people of Iran.

brb, ttyl ok? wow, i saved a 'ton' of time with those acronyms.