Abstainer: a weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Smiles are the dance of our soul, with the music of love, to express the beauty of mind, for the happiness of spirit, and for the joy of the world.

The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what you think.

Women are like pictures: of no value in the hands of a fool till he hears men of sense bid high for the purchase.

When you want a thing deeply, earnestly and intensely, this feeling of desire reinforces your will and arouses in you the determination to work for the desired object.

Wind is a floating wave of air, whose undulation continually varies.

I was never the girl who walked down the centre of the hallway snapping people out of her way.

I told you all I was going to be No. 1, and I did just that.

Cooperation is the redeeming ability of man to be better than himself.

Novels are not about expressing yourself, they're about something beautiful, funny, clever and organic. Self-expression ? Go and ring a bell in a yard if you want to express yourself.