A more complex - but only slightly more original - way to feel out of it is available at the hip and pretentious nightclubs and bars along the Sunset Strip.

I sometimes look into the face of my dog Stan and see a wistful sadness and existential angst, when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning the ceiling for flies.

A wacky, trendy outfit on a guy over 40 indicates he's got big issues.

Beware the man who doesn't ask you any questions about yourself on your first date.

Men who have a lot of charm have it in place of something real that you are eventually going to want from them and find that they do not have.

No one would argue against the fact that L.A. leads the country in opportunities for being hip and pretentious.

It's just like magic. When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone!.

You just never know when it might be cookie time. And, that is what the dogs have taught me.

My goal was always getting my work out in the world, and in many ways, I feel like the luckiest person alive.

The day is divided into two important sections: Mealtimes and everything else.

Every moment of your life that is not a complete nightmare is happiness.

What is most vile and despicable about money is that it even confers talent. And it will do so until the end of the world.

If you want to buy a good movie, you'll buy a good movie. If you don't want to buy a good movie, you'll buy a 'Twilight' movie.

My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog.

Constructiveness is the human way.

God must have said, "I know what I'll do, I'll send my Love right down there where they are. And I'll send it as a tiny baby, so they'll have to touch it, and they'll have to hold it close."

There is no greater mistake than to make light of an enemy By making light of an enemy many a kingdom has been lost.

So be it. God created profoundly fallible creatures on this earth, and human history is mostly the story of error and accident.

Why the hell do we make such a big deal out of things that shouldn't be a big deal?

She has been kissed as often as a police-court Bible, and by much the same class of people.

If you cast away one cross, you will certainly find another, and perhaps a heavier.