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Billy Connolly Quotes: A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said
         

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"


Billy Connolly
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Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!



I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.



My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.



A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!



So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?



Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.



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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.



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The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.



I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.



Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.





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Compassion is not weakness it's Christ-like



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The son needs the father to have access to his source, and the father needs the son to have access to the future and the infinite.



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Leo Durocher is a man with an infinite capacity for making a bad thing worse.



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When I was little I bragged about my firefighting father: my father would go to heaven, because if he went to hell he would put out all the fires.

When I was little I bragged about my firefighting father: my father would go to heaven, because if he went to hell he would put out all the fires.



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I love physical stuff. I love circusy, weird, breathing fire and bucket-listy things.



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Good intentions do not guarantee good results. Somehow Andrew Keates turns works of merit into evenings of entertainment. Don't call him a dramaturge, call him an alchemist.



Everyone is in love with the impossible; the impossible gives you neverending dreams and neverending hopes.

Everyone is in love with the impossible; the impossible gives you neverending dreams and neverending hopes.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said &quot;her brothers got a moustache!&quot;". Author of this quote is Billy Connolly. This quote is about brother, moustache, said, girlfriend, funny, shagging,.