A lot of comics just joke around, but it's just as important to get the truth out there.

Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He's Mr. T without the acting chops.

I'm decorating my parents' house for Christmas... I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as I do!

I got sick of trying everything. I tried every single thing imaginable - diet, exercise. I even bought a house on the health spa property, and I still gained weight.

The thing is, in the dating profiles it says 'spiritual, ' but not with a specific religion. And so I pretty much try to meditate, but I have a very hard time concentrating on things other than me.

You’re a nosy sleuth like me because you can’t help it, ” Alma said.

If you have the bad MOJO of a situation or a person riding you down you must first remove that saddle.

Jenny McCarthy was the one I thought could turn me straight. I thought that if I could just get my shot with her, it could happen.

As far as we're concerned, there was no sporting organisation [that] should have anything to do with the sport in South Africa.

My music should fall under fair use because it's transformative, it's becoming its own entity, and it's not negatively impacting anyone's sales.

You spend a good deal of your life gripping a baseball, and it turns out it was the other way around all the time.

Now that I'm not running, I can appear on Fox. Let the cabinet members do the low-ratings shows on MSNBC.

You would think that as you get older you would be more disciplined. As I get older I get less disciplined. I just play around!

to not act is a choice too

The violence and sexuality on TV today is exhilarating. You can explore every aspect of society. People's sexual orientations, the violence that goes within that... there are no holds barred.