I'm decorating my parents' house for Christmas... I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as I do!

Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He's Mr. T without the acting chops.

A lot of comics just joke around, but it's just as important to get the truth out there.

I got sick of trying everything. I tried every single thing imaginable - diet, exercise. I even bought a house on the health spa property, and I still gained weight.

The thing is, in the dating profiles it says 'spiritual, ' but not with a specific religion. And so I pretty much try to meditate, but I have a very hard time concentrating on things other than me.

Failure is the greatest teacher.

Patience is the virtue that forges great men.

I hate Jesse for leaving me behind. If he asked, I would have walked into the air with him.

The untrue things don’t deserve to be respected!

The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

Nothing is so tiresome to one's self, as well as so odious to others, as disguise and affectation.

I want people to hear musicians like Joe Cuba. He has done things to whole masses of Puerto Rican people. The music is fantastic and important.

Only when I smell the earth upon my face, will I ever be free, to fly from this place.

To me, the point of a novel is to take you to a still place. You can multitask with a lot of things, but you can’t really multitask reading a book.

Writing should be meaningful for children, Y an intrinsic need should be aroused in them, and Y writing should be incorporated into a task that is necessary and relevant.