A lot of comedy is really DIY. You're kind of doing it yourself.

Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.

Don't judge me. I made a lot of money.

Kids do have to learn that life is a humiliating charade of endless disappointment and tragedy ultimately culminating in pain, decay, and death. My parents used to sing me to sleep with that one.

I'm capable of living in the moment. And I'm especially capable of living in the moment of sitting on my sofa and watching other people's moments.

I dislike Ted Cruz as much as the next everyone. But that's no reason to be rude to Ted's loving wife and possible hostage.

There's a danger zone if you take yourself too seriously. It's a terrible trap to fall into. I think it's the death of comedy.

It's like you can't even go on the radio anymore and condemn a whole subset of people to hell without getting some blowback.

I continue to be very shy. I think a lot of actors and performers are really weird, shy people working it out onstage. I don't know why that is.

You don't want to be glib; you want to treat every story respectfully.

I grew up an only child, so I was so much more adult. My eldest daughter is 10, and I was so much more of an adult than she is. She just doesn't care for the real world. She's not interested.

Have the courage

Dream on it, think on it, ink on it, speak on it... then proceed to bring on it. Fulfillment is ordered to find you. Shine time!

I am only human, although I regret it.

One of the most important responsibilities in the Christian life is to care about others, smile at them, and be a friend to the friendless.

I remember that the priest finally said to me, 'You wouldn't like to have a religion that makes things easy for you.' Now I know that both faith and intellect are components of religious belief.

Our policemen and women are disrespected. We need law and order, but we need justice, too.

Whatever instrument I play, I always try to keep it unreal.

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart is written with great awareness and sensitivity. Deborah Davis gets it just right.

What my mother doesnt know wont hurt her

I hate the way people use PowerPoints instead of thinking