A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Are you afraid of the dark?” I asked.“No. Monsters aren't real. This is real. I'm scared of what could happen when the lights go out.

In history, good intentions do not always make good consequences

Art is a weapon that penetrates the eyes, the ears, the deepest and subtlest human feelings.

You will always have value and nothing can change that.

No murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

In between that time, I've done book narrating, you know, books on tape for Dove Audio.

I was fortunate to work with Corigliano for a few years in the mid nineties. Meeting and working with him during those formative years was an important experience.

You are staring at me like you were going to eat me up.

I was the youngest of seven kids and I would not have been able to go to college without an athletic scholarship.

When you love yourself, you'll feel sorry for those that hate you instead of hating them back.