A clown I knew who was retiring from Ringling Brothers gave me his giant shoes, and somebody else made me a clown suit.

Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life. Either you laugh and suffer, or you got your beans or brains on the ceiling.

you aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop.

We are all the same person trying to shake hands with our self.

We can make a difference and have fun doing it

Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life.

we're all bozos on the bus, so might as well sit back and enjoy the ride.

Good morning! What we have in mind is breakfast in bed for four hundred thousand.

Sure, I could of done it different... put my clown in a closet and dressed up in straight clothing. I could of compromised my essence, and swallowed my soul.

Death was Patrick Henry's second choice.

And I also thought that Richard Nixon was the greatest political education we have ever had, but it looks like we need to relearn them again.

What happened out there?”“I almost got quarking toasted by a dragon.”“A dragon, ” he repeats, scandalized. “Are you mad? Or have you been skulking around the bars of Barbary XIII?

Here is a fact for you: Your prison is made by yourself!

All I ever wanted to do was write songs and get on a bus and go play them for people.

You can be rich in spirit, kindness, love and all those things that you can't put a dollar sign on.

We all need someone who understands.

Ninety-five percent of the time when I run a contest I've purchased the giveaway prizes with advertising money.

About this business of being a gentleman: I paid so heavily for the fourteen years of my gentleman's education that I feel entitled, now and then, to get some sort of return.

Talent is a dull knife that will cut nothing unless it is wielded with great force.

I don't like [to] make a woman ... an abstract concept of the fashion. I don't like [to] say, "You must wear that." ... I am not a dictator.

I will never hurt a girl, I respect them too much