Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life. Either you laugh and suffer, or you got your beans or brains on the ceiling.

you aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop.

We are all the same person trying to shake hands with our self.

We can make a difference and have fun doing it

Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life.

we're all bozos on the bus, so might as well sit back and enjoy the ride.

Good morning! What we have in mind is breakfast in bed for four hundred thousand.

Sure, I could of done it different... put my clown in a closet and dressed up in straight clothing. I could of compromised my essence, and swallowed my soul.

Death was Patrick Henry's second choice.

And I also thought that Richard Nixon was the greatest political education we have ever had, but it looks like we need to relearn them again.

Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore.

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

I go to the ocean to say goodbye.

Literature is a power to be possessed not a body of objects to be studied.

I think the United States is way behind the times.

No one is responsible under liberalism.

That which an age considers evil is usually an unseasonable echo of what was formerly considered good - the atavism of an old ideal.

Hiring great people is almost the most important thing you can do as a leader because they enable you to scale, and they create better leverage for you and your time.

People are more interested in someone who goes on stage and tells the truth.

You have to pick the stories that you want to be involved with and the end game is you'd like to be a part of a hit. But I think your moral obligation is to follow your own heart.

You may not get what you paid for, but you will pay for what you get.