10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?

Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear.

There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn't all the water gush out when you get in?

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.

Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.

Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.

Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.

All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.

A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are going well, it's much harder to make the right jokes.

People are beautiful when they share things.

It takes a lot of hard work, devotion, good food, balanced diet, enough money, etcetera. Do you have any of them?

We are also ignoring and underfunding high speed rail which is one of the best ways to move citizens and improve congestion on our highways.

I think that Indy is special to me. The greater the distance between the last time I drove an Indy car and the next time, I wouldn't like that to be too big.

Unmediated joy was nowadays unfashionable.

There are no shortcuts. If you feel good, you'll look good, you'll play good. Work hard every day. No matter what your strengths and weaknesses, there's no substitute for hard work.

My God, so much I like to drink Scotch that sometimes I think my name is Igor Stra-whiskey.

A physicist is just an atom's way of looking at itself.

When you write a song, a song has longevity

OK Computer? More like No Thank You Computers. They killed my father, and I hate them.