Witty Quotes

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

I love gentiles. In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting.

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

If you want to be witty, say what you think at all times

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.

Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued.

Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.

True, I've been a long time making up my mind, but now I'm giving you a definite answer. I won't say yes, and I won't say no - but I'm giving you a definite maybe.

I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years.

Gentlemen, listen to me slowly.

You fail to overlook the crucial point.

Conquered people tend to be witty.

I don't write cheques anymore because I end up signing them "with love, shan rukh"

In the long-run every Government is the exact symbol of its People, with their wisdom and unwisdom; we have to say, Like People like Government.

You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams.

When I think of Cool Britannia I think of old people dying of hypothermia.

If two things don't fit, but you believe both of them, thinking that somewhere, hidden, there must be a third thing that connects them, that's credulity.

If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well. It were done quickly.

It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples.

I've come to the point where I never feel the need to stop and evaluate whether or not I am happy. I'm just 'being', and without question, by default, it works.

Life is too fleet for onomatopoeia.

Tell the truth and you won't have so much to remember

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

Grave authors say, and witty poets sing, That honest wedlock is a glorious thing.

The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.

Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN

Your wit makes others witty.

Wit in women is a jewel, which, unlike all others, borrows lustre from its setting, rather than bestows it; since nothing is so easy as to fancy a very beautiful woman extremely witty.

Girl who sit on Judge's lap get honorable discharge.

We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.

We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

Letting Go: A Little Bit at a Time is filled with big ideas that just might change your life. Wise, witty, and important.

Women who are not living ought to spend all their time cracking jokes. In a rotten society women grow witty; making a heaven while they wait.

Truth is not determined by majority vote.

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

Allow me to put the record straight. I am forty-six and have been for some years past.

Judges ought to be more learned, than witty, more reverend, than plausible, and more advised, than confident. Above all things, integrity is their portion and proper virtue.

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.

The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office.

Pride only helps us to be generous; it never makes us so, any more than vanity makes us witty.

People who can't be witty exert themselves to be devout and affectionate.

It doesn't matter where we begin the personal/political circle, but it matters desperately that we complete it.

Talking to oneself, I have often thought, is the best way to be sure of intelligent and witty conversation.

How often, when we have been nearest each other bodily, have we really been farthest off! Our tongues were the witty foils with which we fenced each other off.

A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.

I don't think there's any harm at all in allowing a kid to fantasize. In fact, I think to stop people from fantasizing is a very destructive thing indeed.

Whatever money you might have, self-worth really lies in finding out what you do best.

One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.

Ack!" I said. Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.

There are some men who are witty when they are in a bad humor, and others only when they are sad.