The Jerk Quotes

Any jerk can have short-term earnings. You squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, and the company sinks five years later.

All broken hearts are circumstantial. Every lovelorn jerk is the victim of bad timing, good intentions, and someone else’s poor decision making.

All guys are jerks but they get hotter with age and we learn to be more tolerant.

Some jerk infected the Internet with an outright lie. It shows how easy it is to do and how credulous people are.

A person with grace is somebody who's socially graceful or is a classy person, but sometimes you just feel the opposite of that, and you just feel like a jerk and a loser and a weirdo.

I think I'm a mama's boy who wanted to be a hockey player, who failed, and had to become a singer. I think that I'm a generous, impatient, kind, jerk.

I'm not afraid to be a jerk or anything and laugh at myself anymore.

I know what it's like to meet someone you admire and have them be a complete jerk.

I could be a jerk and get a lot more publicity, but that's not who I am.

I interviewed Johnny Knoxville once. I was kind of scared to interview him because I thought he might be a real jerk, but he was really nice, and I ripped his chest hair out.

I'm not a knee-jerk conservative. I passionately believe in free markets and less government, but not to the point of being a libertarian.

Like a jerk, I went to a nutritionist and I ate the most repulsive, awful things. I didn't allow myself to eat chocolate cake and french fries and cheeseburgers.

I am always the 'good guy,' and I take on the idiotic jerks of the nation.

If everyone really knew what a jerk I am in real life, I wouldn't be so adored in the slightest.

Hemingway was a jerk.

Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like 'Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing.

My liberal friends are such a bunch soft-headed, politically correct jerks.

The British press can be so annoying. They jerk you off with one hand and smack you with the other.

Maybe one of the qualities of being a great coach is being [a jerk]. There are quite a few of them around.

If a guy is over 25 percent jerk, he's in trouble. And Henry was 95 percent.

I've been a jerk on the internet since the internet started.

It's definitely fun to play something you're not, which is always a good time. Who doesn't want to get to act like a jerk or a douche, every now and then?

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey

Every day when I get home from work, I feel so frustrated, my boss is a jerk.

All magic is 'Here’s a quarter, now it’s gone. You’re a jerk. Now it’s back. You’re an idiot. Show’s over.'

It never made sense to me that someone would achieve any kind of success in show business, only to become a jerk.

Don’t be friends with jerks.

I will never deny that life isn't fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk.

Diplomacy is unfashionable in the world of knee-jerk reaction and the dogmatic sound bite on television.

It's tough being an actor making music, because even I have a knee-jerk reaction to that.

I'll get cast occasionally as sort of the jerk version of myself, and I have fun doing that. But it's really better for everyone if I stay behind the camera.

I just think I have always had a good attitude about everything and never got ahead of myself. No one wants to work with a jerk.

You can't be a jerk in order to be a good writer.

I fall in love with characters when they're out of their element or are uncomfortable and you really feel for them in a knee-jerk sympathetic way.

I feel sad that we have allowed these knee-jerk feminists who want to act like it's a struggle against men...but again that's the least politically developed strand of feminism.

How do you keep people from jerking your chain? Don't give your chain to jerks!

I act like a jerk sometimes.

I hope I'm an integrous person who cleans up their messes when I've been a jerk.

When you've been hurt, you don't make excuses for the jerk who hurt you. That's his mama's job.

You can't go into the office and be a jerk. You can't yell at your kids or your wife or your husband for no reason. That makes you a terrible person.

It's disappointing when you finally get to meet someone you admire and he conducts himself as a jerk.

I almost did the knee-jerk thing of saying Judge Judy is funny to me, but I just don't have the patience for the format of that show.

Knee-Jerk Irony: The tendency to make flippant ironic comments as a reflexive matter of course in everyday conversation.

People should realize we're jerks just like them.

Tony Bennett said to me, "Wow, your talent is amazing." Maybe he's a bore, maybe he's a jerk, but when he said that to me, I didn't need anything more than that.

My father used to say that if a man fools you once, he's a jerk. If he fools you twice, you're a jerk. Only he didn't use the word "jerk."

Jerk equals narcissist.Narcissists tend to be risk takers. Risk takers happen to do better in general in businesses. So jerk equals narcissist, equals risk taker.

Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?

The biggest Russian problem - not all Russian jerks have moved to the US and UK yet.

When I look back on my knee-jerk reactions now, I realize I should have just taken a breath.