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Joke Quotes

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Joke Quotes: "My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world."

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.




Joke Quotes: "I like to prowl ordinary places.I feel sorry for us all or glad for us allcaught alive togetherand awkward in that way.there's nothing better than the jokeof usthe seriousness of usthe dullness of us"

I like to prowl ordinary places.I feel sorry for us all or glad for us allcaught alive togetherand awkward in that way.there's nothing better than the jokeof usthe seriousness of usthe dullness of us



Joke Quotes: "Two-thirds of all preachers, doctors and lawyers are hanging on to the coat tails of progress, shouting, whoa! while a good many of the rest are busy strewing banana peels along the line of march."

Two-thirds of all preachers, doctors and lawyers are hanging on to the coat tails of progress, shouting, whoa! while a good many of the rest are busy strewing banana peels along the line of march.



Joke Quotes: "The inmates made jokes about the chair, the way people always make jokes about things that frighten them but can't be gotten away from."

The inmates made jokes about the chair, the way people always make jokes about things that frighten them but can't be gotten away from.




Joke Quotes: "Ugh!' snarled the Wolf, as he limped through the brushwood with his tail between his legs, 'this is perfectly monstrous weather. Why doesn't the Government look to it?"

Ugh!' snarled the Wolf, as he limped through the brushwood with his tail between his legs, 'this is perfectly monstrous weather. Why doesn't the Government look to it?



Joke Quotes: "I ought to be jealous of the tower. She is more famous than I am."

I ought to be jealous of the tower. She is more famous than I am.



Joke Quotes: "Why do we have to humiliate someone to crack a joke??? Do what u would like people to do with u.."

Why do we have to humiliate someone to crack a joke??? Do what u would like people to do with u..




Joke Quotes: "That awkward moment when you realize someone was actually home the whole time you were singing on the tops of your lungs."

That awkward moment when you realize someone was actually home the whole time you were singing on the tops of your lungs.



Joke Quotes: "Investigation?" Isabelle laughed. "Now we're detectives? Maybe we should all have code names.""Good idea, " said Jace. "I shall be Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein."

Investigation?" Isabelle laughed. "Now we're detectives? Maybe we should all have code names.""Good idea, " said Jace. "I shall be Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein.



Joke Quotes: "Looking but not seeing is the hearing but not understanding of the eye."

Looking but not seeing is the hearing but not understanding of the eye.



Joke Quotes: "Well, enough of this introspection. It’s depressing, quite frankly."

Well, enough of this introspection. It’s depressing, quite frankly.



Joke Quotes: "My favorite people are the ones that can make any unfunny joke hilarious by just laughing."

My favorite people are the ones that can make any unfunny joke hilarious by just laughing.




Joke Quotes: "C: What do you get when a giant sneezes?Out of the way. - Marigold"

C: What do you get when a giant sneezes?Out of the way. - Marigold



Joke Quotes: "Horror can damage your brain" - HAHAHAHA the best joke ever heard (It was said by GreenHollyWood". I really don't believe in that in case I use them to relax!"

Horror can damage your brain" - HAHAHAHA the best joke ever heard (It was said by GreenHollyWood". I really don't believe in that in case I use them to relax!




Joke Quotes: "Kell managed an echo of her smile, and [Lila] gasped. "What's that on your face?"The smile vanished. "What?""Never mind, " she said, laughing. "It's gone."

Kell managed an echo of her smile, and [Lila] gasped. "What's that on your face?"The smile vanished. "What?""Never mind, " she said, laughing. "It's gone.



Joke Quotes: "Hell-on-skis, can you hear me? This is flying cupcake."

Hell-on-skis, can you hear me? This is flying cupcake.



Joke Quotes: "It would be a bitter cosmic joke if we destroy ourselves due to atrophy of the imagination."

It would be a bitter cosmic joke if we destroy ourselves due to atrophy of the imagination.



Joke Quotes: "For the advice in a joke is sometimes more useful than the most serious teaching."

For the advice in a joke is sometimes more useful than the most serious teaching.



Joke Quotes: "If u want to work in Corporate, then u should know how to play Chess."

If u want to work in Corporate, then u should know how to play Chess.



Joke Quotes: "Insurances are like very expensive flat rates, except that you have to live by their rules in hope to get back a small share of your money."

Insurances are like very expensive flat rates, except that you have to live by their rules in hope to get back a small share of your money.



Joke Quotes: "When you are unemployed, weekends are seven days long."

When you are unemployed, weekends are seven days long.



Joke Quotes: "rights are honored only in the breach. most people don't get agents or cops assigned to them until they're already raped or dead."

rights are honored only in the breach. most people don't get agents or cops assigned to them until they're already raped or dead.



Joke Quotes: "This is a wonderful joke to play upon a prisoner, to promise forgiveness."

This is a wonderful joke to play upon a prisoner, to promise forgiveness.



Joke Quotes: "A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it."

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.



Joke Quotes: "Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her."

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.



Joke Quotes: "Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face."

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.



Joke Quotes: "Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him."

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.



Joke Quotes: "Everyone says "i will never" and "one should never" but, actually, "No one can Resist Miss-using Power (at-least ones) when they have it"."

Everyone says "i will never" and "one should never" but, actually, "No one can Resist Miss-using Power (at-least ones) when they have it".



Joke Quotes: "There is no better taste than this: someone else's laughter in your mouth."

There is no better taste than this: someone else's laughter in your mouth.



Joke Quotes: "Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white."

Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.



Joke Quotes: "It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel."

It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.



Joke Quotes: "And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle— Flint alongside her —poke him in the eye, Angelina —it was a joke, professor, it was a joke..."

And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle— Flint alongside her —poke him in the eye, Angelina —it was a joke, professor, it was a joke...



Joke Quotes: "Chuck Norris can divide by zero."

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.



Joke Quotes: "You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook."

You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.



Joke Quotes: "Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg."

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.



Joke Quotes: "Smile and laugh... Laugh and smile... Laugh and smile every day"

Smile and laugh... Laugh and smile... Laugh and smile every day



Joke Quotes: "Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order."

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.



Joke Quotes: "The only good thing about people not taking me seriously is that I'm not serious myself!"

The only good thing about people not taking me seriously is that I'm not serious myself!



Joke Quotes: "Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye."

Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.



Joke Quotes: "I'm financially ugly."

I'm financially ugly.



Joke Quotes: "When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok."

When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.



Joke Quotes: "Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals."

Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.






Joke Quotes: "Little James Herondale, age two, was in fact holding a dagger quite well. He stabbed it into a sofa cushion, sending out a burst of feathers. "Ducks, " he said, pointing at the feathers."

Little James Herondale, age two, was in fact holding a dagger quite well. He stabbed it into a sofa cushion, sending out a burst of feathers. "Ducks, " he said, pointing at the feathers.



Joke Quotes: "What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747?-About 20 pounds.-Yo mama carries more passengers.-Not everyone's been on a 747."

What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747?-About 20 pounds.-Yo mama carries more passengers.-Not everyone's been on a 747.