Joke Quotes

UFO is a joke when there ain't mystery in the sky.

For the advice in a joke is sometimes more useful than the most serious teaching.

Dark alleys, like social networks, are romantic, because you never know what might happen while I perform there every Caturday night. Cats do know, but won't tell. So don’t even ask.

Horror can damage your brain" - HAHAHAHA the best joke ever heard (It was said by GreenHollyWood". I really don't believe in that in case I use them to relax!

I was not born with English in my pocket.

Sometimes When You Are Serious, People Thought You Were Joking, But Sometimes When You Are Joking, People Thought You Were Serious

My old man taught me to never trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die.

Its crazy when people of high moral standards, feel its okay for an intimate friend to insult them in a jovial way, forgeting that even casual friends can do just the same in a jovial way.

That awkward moment when you realize someone was actually home the whole time you were singing on the tops of your lungs.

For with dandies, a joke is the only way of making yourself respected.

We often hear that mathematics consists mainly of 'proving theorems.' Is a writer's job mainly that of 'writing sentences?

-I am alergic to these flowers.-I know.

CUSTOMER: I’m always on night shift at work.BOOKSELLER (jokingly): Is that why you’re buying so many vampire novels?CUSTOMER (seriously): You can never be too prepared.

You can't deal with being odd?...Become like them...Become drug delear...Live their lifes... have fun...and be honest...

Kell managed an echo of her smile, and [Lila] gasped. "What's that on your face?"The smile vanished. "What?""Never mind, " she said, laughing. "It's gone.

Smile and laugh... Laugh and smile... Laugh and smile every day

Puns are just another form of sarcasm, which may or may not make you - smile, giggle, or laugh.

We end up kissing her for an hour, and her lips are so soft they are almost like a joke.

True love knows no boundaries.

I never was so immensely tickled by anything I had ever said before. I actually woke up twice during the night, and laughed till the bed shook.

Sometimes you feel as though you've slandered yourself, but the joke's on them.

All life is a jest, Imhotep - and it is death who laughs last. Do you not hear it at every feast? Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you die.

The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it.

The whole westward expansion myth is seen as romantic. But it's a joke, a blot on American history.

The key to gallows humor is to make the joke, no matter how certain the gallows is.

Why do we have to humiliate someone to crack a joke??? Do what u would like people to do with u..

He who makes fun of a short and fat man’s weight is much less cruel than he who makes fun of his height.

rights are honored only in the breach. most people don't get agents or cops assigned to them until they're already raped or dead.

My favorite people are the ones that can make any unfunny joke hilarious by just laughing.

If you were to ask Jarod Kintz‬‬‬ what his personal favourite joke was, he'd say the one with the island. The big one next to New Zealand.-Stefan D and Jarod Kintz

Being a Muslim is not a joke but a challenge. If you think it is, come and live in Pakistan where you will know about Muslims' enemies around the globe

If you have a problem with me, it is OK, because Mullah Omar does too.

On Mars, the joke went, a man’s hole was his castle where values of castle approached dorm room.

Hell-on-skis, can you hear me? This is flying cupcake.

I'm the most famous person, problem is people don't know it yet…

Do you know why they call this place the Rookery?" Elodin asked. I shook my head."Because it's where you go if you're a-ravin'." He smiled a wild smile. He laughed a terrible laugh.

If a black black cat crosses your path, it suggests that the animal is going somewhere.

You, Stan, are covered with dirt and leaves.''''I just applied for a job as a tree, '' I said. It made so little sense, he didn't even bother responding.

Sweet potato fries?

I ought to be jealous of the tower. She is more famous than I am.

Never make a person feel, that he/she is very (extra) special.. Cause, then that person starts feeling that 'You' are not worth him/her.

Even if it’s a really funny joke, don’t laugh if the devil’s the one telling it!

I'm financially ugly.

The biggest irony in the history of India is the term, "Muslim Personal Law."Law of the land could never be personal.

You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences.

Trying to be offensive for the sole purpose of being offensive should always deem one the least offensive of offenders.

A good joke doesn’t necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one’s own deserving jokes.

When we perceive aliens as a joke to be laughed at, they feel so pity for us on the success of their plans.

You can't draw lines in the sand like that. Humour's a tsunami that doesn't care about your little lines.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime.