Humour Quotes
We may be pilgrims passing through this world, but let's not be grim-pills in the process!
The trouble with parents is they remember the things you don’t want them to remember. Then the things you want them to remember, they forget." Kosi Kamsi
I think if Jeremy Corbyn got a cloak, he'd make a very good Gandalf.
A dark cloud of gloom settled itself on her head and began raining on her day. Her mood went from animated to morose faster than it would get a F1 car to accelerate to full throttle.
No answer I could provide to that question could possibly serve my own future interests." Sarek straightened his sleeve and focused on her. "More wine, Wife?
The Attolians liked to point out with a snicker that there was no sign anywhere of the king's hand at work.
Smoky knickers. Always said you were hot stuff, ” he said. I rolled my eyes and shook my head at the same time. It made me so dizzy that I almost fell over. Men.
The aftereffects of confiding something you shouldn't have, almost as bad as a hangover.
Hmph. Yes. Him. He had the nerve to turn down our offer of immortality and tell us to pay better attention to our children. Er, no offense.” “Oh, how could I take offense? Please, go on ignoring me.
It is said "Barking dogs seldom bite".......Unfortunately many dogs do not know this proverb!
So…we’ll start by boasting, will we? Just like old times! Very well, demigod.
University of Life. Year One - Advance Adventure Playgrounds. Part One Exam - go to the Third World and survive. No revision, interest, intellect or sensitivity required.
The first two tracks were pop songs from the 1970s, sung in Danish in a style that was best described as Abba without joy.
To imagine that I was pleased would have been an understatement, if I was a dog, my tail would be wagging my arse off.
Please let's change subject, as despite the alliteration, I don't think Politics and Puddings go together.
Nice! There's no fun in nice. I'll be myself and you'll all love me for it.
I had this teacher who kept telling me that if I was ever in a fair fight, someone had made a mistake, ” she said
A game?’ Rob spluttered. ‘A bloody game?’ He turned to face his father. ‘This is your bloody fault! I’m living your bloody karma!
I always enjoy the day after a hangover. Each time it happens, it’s my own little victory over the demon drink.
Two hours later, a noise resembling a hippo rolling along a corrugated iron roof shook Jane from her doze and Rob bursts through the living room door.
Time travel is complicated, or so we think, since we have not yet managed to actually figure out how to do it.
He responded with one of those looks of pity and amusement I was by now so used to getting, the kind that implied not only was my fly undone, but that there was nothing to see even if it was.
It’s hard to tell sometimes if Etheny’s stories are true, as you will see, so I will lay down the story as she told it to me to allow you to decide for yourself.
I have the most fantastic, stupendous, magnificent idea. Why it’s better than television, " he said, standing there in red, tartan pyjamas, his beard in a sleepy tangle. Dunn's Magnificent Idea
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, ' said Maxie.'I know how that feels, ' said Blue.'I think some Pharaoh had that carved on his tomb, ' Maxie added.'Yeah? Times don't change much, do they?
One day we found them. They must of been holding a gook convention or something, cause it seem like the same sort of deal as when you step on a anthill and they all come swarming around.
I couldn't possibly repeat the words he used .They were so unsettling that I sent Nancy indoors to find my spectacles.
Mr. Cupples came out of his reverie. "I think, " he said, "I will have milk and soda-water." "Speak lower!" urged Trent. "The head-waiter has a weak heart, and he might hear you.
Everybody means by an open mind, a mind which contains their prejudices but not somebody else's.
It's never a good day when an ancient demon shows up on your toilet bowl.
Some of my best friends are women, ' I snapped, 'though I certainly wouldn't want my daughter to marry one of them.
The night before, a whole day could have shape and design. But when it was upon you, it could vanish tragically to air.
There’s always an opportunity to fish for something – even if it’s just for laughs or ideas.
I fall off horses, " he explained to Loghain with a sickly grin. "It's this thing I do.
Maybe that’s why God made childbirth so painful, so that when your life is wrecked by children you know it could be worse.