Humour Quotes
Your ancient enemy is basically just a really, really big squirrel
@mink: Well, you’re in luck, if you pick another movie. My hair is clean, I usually eat dinner around eight, and I’m currently single. Not that it matters.
This is two romantic things in a row, so I figure I should praise him accordingly, because the boy responds well to positive reinforcement.
Mac had many admirable qualities, but not tact. He was the sort of man who would have tried to cheer Napoleon up by talking about the Winter Sports at Moscow.
There is a difference between right and wrong, always was and always will be, but each man's wrong and each man's right are different.
Supermarkets were introduced into Britain to destroy small businesses and create a sense of social alienation
The last thing he wanted was to see the bright, shining, happy faces of the other angels up there.
Or that time she made a snowman in Britt-Marie and Kent’s garden right under their balcony and dressed it up in grown-up clothes so it looked as if a person had fallen from the roof.
When I rule the world, " screamed the Bogey, "all antiques will be destroyed! Antiques will be things of the past!
If they succeed, you will not be packed off to some idyllic farm, where you can write bad poetry, we will both be executed.
Remember you’re all representing your country, and you ought to behave as the Empire does.’ ‘So we can kill and loot at will, steal their goods and claim the planet as our own?’ Suruk said.
Why were kings cross? Maybe their trains were late! Some say warrior Queen Boudica was buried under platform 8.
You are soft person you said. But you're soft as shit: it is very soft but stinking!
Nina was about to snap that she didn't appreciate the sarcasm when she saw the expression on his face. He looked like someone had just given him a tuba full of puppies.
The clown knows that life is cruel. The ancient jester's motley coloured costume turned his usually melancholy expression in to a joke. The clown is used to loss. Loss is his prologue.
Now according to German logic, a declaration of war was found to be unnecessary because of imaginary bombings
My face is rather like a collision waiting to happen: head-on I can be borne, but turn sideways, and it is all calamity.
I’d heard street food was a big thing here in Mexico but I didn’t think it meant the creatures that lived on the street.
Beware the ideas of March... just one little letter changes the whole meaning. I love the way worms can do that.
He was cold, standing in a wood, talking to a big black bird who was currently brunching on Bambi.
There is, perhaps, no greater hardship at present inflicted on mankind in civilised and free countries than the necessity of listening to sermons.
Now, my sister has been called a lot of things:sweet, kind, a living Disney princess, but none of those things imply that she would ever date someone just for his money.
Focke's razor: Never attribute to plot holes that which is adequately explained by miracles.
Civilization must be preserved, ' says he.'Civilization's doing fine, ' I said. 'We just don't happen to be where it is.
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who sweat the small stuff, and those who have the balls not to.
In the battle of DNAs, your DNA will always win against the DNA of your father.
Wow, that is so deep.'He meant it, of course.'You're really real, ' he added breathily. 'Say something else.'I decided he wasn't worth punching, and walked away.
When an artist friend of mine explained she was working her way up the creative ladder, I asked if she would kindly paint the front of my house on the way up.
She had a face that had had lived a thousand stories and none with a happy ending.
I am of the opinion", Tharkay said, "that you ought not assign to free will something more likely the consequence of a sharp blow to the skull.
She started naming the fish. 'Loppy, Troppy, Hoppy, Soppy, Boppy, Floppy, Moppy and Roppy.
When I am alone in the forest at night-time and jump from one tree to another, I often think that life is so strange.
Gregor was a real drinker..he didn't drink because he was sad..(or) cheerful. He drank because he was a thorough man, who like to get to the bottom of things, of bottles as well as everything else.
There is nothing to fear but fear itself, " the captain announces from the helm, "and the occasional man-eating monster.
His Scotch bear-leader, Mr Boswell, was a butt of the first quality.
I should just build a bleeding house here, " I mutter as I pick myself up off the snow-covered ground. "Maybe get a few chickens. Plant a garden.