Humor Quotes

On the mound is Randy Jones, the left-hander with the Karl Marx hairdo.

And it's a long drive down the line to centerfield.

You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast.

McCovey swings and misses, and it's fouled back.

Hi folks, I'm Gerry Gross!

It's off the leg and into the left field of Doug Rader.

Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is.

The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.

Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball.

Davis fouls out to third in fair territory.

There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul.

Those numbers with Tony are so often and so interesting.

Kent Abbott is in the on-deck circuit.

Ozzie makes a leaping, diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody drops everything.

The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin.

National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.

I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.

Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.

There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.

At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3.

Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.

The sky is so clear today you can see all the way to Missouri.

Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee.

Grubb goes back, back... He's under the warning track and makes the play.

Right now Andy Larkin is pitching just like young Andy Larkin.

The big ballpark can do it all!

Young Frank Pastore may have pitched the biggest victory of 1979. Maybe the biggest victory of the year!

Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.

Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredictable.

Even though the ball was doubled, they got it anyway.

Gene Richards swings, the ball bounces foul and hits him in the head. No harm done.

Renko has just about had it. Pretty soon somebody will come out of the dugout with a fork and get him.

That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.

Montefusco bare-hands it and throws him out. That grounder will make you a traveling salesman in a hurry!

The Padres are really swinging some hot hats tonight!

Turner was like a pencil. He bent around that pitch!

Finley is going over to get a new piece of bat.

The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started.

At the end, excitement maintained its hysteria.

Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".

George Hendrick simply lost that sun-blown pop-up.

Montreal leads Atlanta by three, 5-1.

You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in.

Larry Lintz steals second standing up. He slid, but he didn't have to.

I don't mean he missed him, but he just didn't get him when he put the tag on him.

Many people think the Cards at the end of the wire will cross the finish line first.

That was like swatting June bugs off a fly.

From the way Denny's shaking his head, he's either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye.

If ever an error had "F" written on it, that grounder did.

The Jews are returning to their land of unbelief. They are spiritually blind and desperately in need of their Messiah and Savior.