Funny Quotes
You can't imagine what a pleasure this complete laziness is to me: not a thought in my brain- you might send a ball rolling through it!
I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.
When you see Charlie Chaplin, he stays funny. He doesn't become drama, and so what really seems to endure is comedy.
It's not brain surgery. It's not nuclear physics. It's television. It's only television.
Is it me? Is it like I have a beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
Charlie Chaplin's genius was in comedy. He has no sense of humor, particularly about himself.
I don't think of any sentence as a "one-liner", but I do pay attention to how people actually speak when they are being funny. Rhythm is key.
I abhor averages. I like the individual case. A man may have six meals one day and none the next, making an average of three meals per day, but that is not a good way to live.
Separately there was only wind, water, sail, and hull, but at my hand the four had been given purpose and direction.
I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said.
I need to be cheered up a lot. I think funny people are people who need to be cheered up.
I tell you, it's funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day.
I've noticed your hostility towards him... I ought to have guessed you were friends.
I found my personal style in black humor and mixing funny things with very touching ones - like trying to force people to cry and smile almost at the same moment.
Ben Stiller isn't funny - honest. Ben Stiller is very funny, and smart, and cute, too, in a neurotic, New York kind of way.
I don't care what anybody says, I think that George Bush is absolutely the right president to oversea the end of the world.
I used to do a lot of drugs. I didn't stop because I didn't enjoy them; I stopped because I couldn't handle the commitment.
When you actually meet the devil and he offers you a deal most artists eventually negotiate.
Comedy is obviously a matter of personal taste and the world always needs a clown and some people have no taste at all and any clown will do.
Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart.
I went out to dinner with a Marine last weekend. He looked across the table and he goes, "I could kill you in seven seconds." I go, "I'll just have toast, then."
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.
I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.
It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.
f you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.
One matter Englishmen don't think in the least funny is their happy consciousness of possessing a deep sense of humor.
Steve Kerr, now coaching Golden State after eight tumultuous and very inconsistent years at TNT.
