Ex Wife Quotes

All these people that I used to know, they're an illusion to me now. Some are mathematicians, some are carpenters' wives.

My wife has them all in a vault... a copy of every album.

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

The closer a husband and wife get to God, the closer they get to each other. The farther away they get from God, the farther they get from each other.

My wife told me that in the Bible, Abraham circumcised himself... wow! I can't even get to the bank before it closes.

My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, 'pregnant.'

Wit may do very well for a mistress, but [I] should prefer reason for a wife.

I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

Epitaph on a scolding wife by her husband: Here my poor Bridget's corpse doth lie, she is at rest - and so am I!

Never take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches.

You can bear your own faults, and why not a fault in your wife?

I do love My country's good with a respect more tender, More holy and profound, then mine own life, My dear wife's estimate, her womb increase, And treasure of my loins.

As good luck would have it, comes in one Mistress Page, gives intelligence of Ford's approach, and in her invention, and Ford's wife's distraction, they conveyed me into a buck-basket.

Would it not grieve a woman to be over-mastered by a piece of valiant dust? to make an account of her life to a clod of wayward marle?

O wretched is the dame, to whom the sound, "Your lord will soon return," no phrase brings.

I think a good husband has to depend on having a good wife.

A house does not need a wife any more than it needs a husband.

When you're a big money earner and your husband isn't, it makes you question how feminine you are. I felt I was less feminine than if I was a supporting wife, or a second fiddle, or 'Mrs. Higgins.

Should all despair That have revolted wives, the tenth of mankind Would hang themselves.

I'm at a loss because I am in love with a man who is standing before me with no memories of me at all. (Time Traveler's Wife)

I first met my wife in the tunnel of love. She was digging it at the time.

Teacher, tender comrade, wife, A fellow-farer true through life.

I know I'm honest and dependable, usually. I know I'm always dependable for my wife. I'm always at home and I'm always there to help.

Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love. Authority is for children and servants, yet not without sweetness.

I can assure you that my wife and I - every penny of income we've ever had, our taxes were paid in West Virginia.

If woman wants to have kids and work a little less she has a big disadvantage compared to a male colleague who has a stay-at-home wife packing his suitcases.

Hockey has given me everything, most importantly it brought me to Swift Current, where I met my wife Deb.

It is as acceptable now to love the wives of others as it is to smoke their cigars and read their books.

If only one tooth aches, rejoice that not all of them ache.... If your wife betrays you, be glad that she betrayed only you and not the nation.

Choose a friend as thou dost a wife, till death separate you.

I'm a nice, happily married wife and mom and I live in Connecticut.

Home is my Bethlehem, my succoring shelter, my mental hospital, my wife, my dam, my husband, my sir, my womb, my skull.

Wives invariably flourish when deserted; ... it is the deserting male, the reckless idealist rushing about the world seeking a non-existent felicity, who often ends in disaster.

He asked why and I said, 'Because Gwyneth has a fat suit, my wife has a fat suit - I don't get a fat suit?' He looked at me and said, 'You mean you don't have one on?'

If I could pick my wife by name, It'd be Whitney. That name just sounds right

The only time a wife listens to her husband is when he’s asleep.

Ah, gentle dames! it gars me greet To think how monie counsels sweet, How monie lengthened sage advices, The husband frae the wife despises.

I've had only three wives and three guitars in my life, though I've flirted with others.

UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.

I believe I'm a better authority than anybody else in America on my own wife. I have never known a person with a stronger sense of right and wrong in my life ever.

My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.

Old wives' tales are not enough in a day when old wives and old men, too, are constantly moving away from their labours.

For many weeks after [my wife] died, I could not get used to the feeling of coldness and lifelessness on her side of the bed - and it was even worse when they took the body away and buried her.

Johnny Carson is a comedian who is seen every night in millions of bedrooms all over America...and that's why his last wife left him.

Stephen Fry is a master exponent of the English tongue. Some people might think that he is the most irritating man in Britain, but my wife and I love him all the same.

The only thing I like more than my wife is my money, and I'm not about to lose that to her and her lawyers, that's for damn sure.

Never write an advertisement which you wouldn't want your own family to read. You wouldn't tell lies to your own wife. Don't tell them to mine. Do as you would be done by.

My wife and I have always trusted each other, and I have to thank her strength.

Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.