Comedian Quotes

Architects are the new comedians.

A stand-up comedian faces the audiences and gets their immediate feedback. I hide behind the comic strip, and unless people write to me, I dont know what they think.

I started as a stand-up comedian. I wanted to be Carol Burnett when I was growing up.

Comedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. But ultimately it's an athletic endeavor.

I tell people I'm a stand-up comedian two hours a week. The rest of the time, I'm somebody's husband, I'm somebody's father. I'm a man. I take great pride in that.

I just respected comedians whether they were or they weren't, from, you know, new or old.

Comedians don't get Oscars, so I gave up on that a long time ago. And I can't really speak about the Oscar-worthiness of my own performance.

I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.

If you want to be a stand-up comedian or an artist, you move to New York.

Being a TV comedian, actor, writer, columnist, and all that is quite helpful to me in acquiring wide varieties of knowledge, which is crucial for filmmaking.

Jason [Sudeikis] is a successful actor and comedian, I don't think that he takes comedic roles any less seriously than he does dramatic roles.

For me, comedians are like the epitome for everything great, and they terrify me. I just want to be them. I want to be like them.

I think there comes a time in any comedian's career where they can either coast or keep growing and evolving.

Comedians are thinkers. The best ones are akin to philosophers, in my opinion.

Ultimately, an audience wants to laugh. That's who they like, the comedian who makes them laugh.

I guess I considered myself just sort of a sketch comedian, you know? Actual screenwriting hadn't really occurred to me as a viable job - I didn't really know anything about it.

I'm such a fan of Lily's [Tomlin], for so many years. I feel like Lily was the first popular mainstream crossover comedian who also was kind of an overtly feminist comedian.

I have a pretty fresh delivery. I feel that I am probably more of a dramatic actor, but I'm also a comedian. Every day I am polishing up my skills.

I’m not a comedian, but I love the comedians who know when to get off the stage.

If you don't laugh, you're going to cry and people are crying. That's why I guess you have lots of people like comedians to keep us laughing.

I don't do drama. I'm a comedian.

Every single comedian in Canada is now living in the United States.

I do films which get me out of my comedian routine so that I don't get bored being a stand-up comedian. And with films, it's here today, gone tomorrow. So stand-up comedy is here to stay for me.

My personal favorite is Woody Allen, who is just amazing as a comedian.

A stand-up comedian will never be the life of a party. Instead, he will be the guy who is standing at a corner and observing people.

Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.

The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.

I guess ultimately a lot of comedians just wanna be taken seriously.

Will Rogers used to say he wouldn't run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian.

I first wanted to be a comedian when I was six or seven and my dad showed me Laurel and Hardy's "Perfect Day" on tv.

I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.

My ship came in, then it sank!

People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound.

You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you’re smart, you’ll end up as a comedian. If you’re not, you’ll end up as a clown.

The difficulty with humorists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don’t—whichever seems likelier to win an effect.

As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread.

Paul is a liar, he said so. (Romans 3:7.)

If you pray for rain long enough, it eventually does fall. If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do. The same happens in the absence of prayers.

Every night was improv.

You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker,

What is she doing here? I wondered. Hasn't she had enough green-upping?

Laughter is a tangible evidence of hope.