Will Rogers used to say he wouldn't run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian.

Don't let yesterday take up too much of today.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.

Growth occurs when individuals confront problems, struggle to master them, and through that struggle develop new aspects of their skills, capacities, views about life.

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.

As no one else can know how we perceive, we are the best experts on ourselves.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

A person cannot teach another person directly; a person can only facilitate another's learning

We ought to be living as if Jesus died yesterday, rose this morning, and is coming back this afternoon.

The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.

Your mind will serve you better than any trinket under the suns...It is a weapon...and like any weapon, you need practice to be any good at wielding it.

Write what you feel like writing at first without worrying about how it sounds. That's what second drafts are for. Enjoy the first one!

This kid deserves anything good that happens to him. He's such a good guy. He's just the nicest human being you want to meet.

Art has an obligation to offend

Wisdom is better than wit, and in the long run will certainly have the laugh on her side.

I knew absolutely nothing about bondage. I'd always presumed it was just an inventive way of keeping your partner from going home.

There's nothing like self-improvement to get your friends to like you for who you were.

I don't want to be carried out of a club wearing a tie-dye T-shirt and a cap on the wrong way around when I am 70, but I would like to settle down a bit. Maybe with a partner.

It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.

I think prom is just about enjoying yourself.