P.G. Wodehouse Quotes
There's too much of that where-every-prospect-pleases-and-only-man-is-vile stuff buzzing around for my taste.
I am Psmith," said the old Etonian reverently. "There is a preliminary P before the name. This, however, is silent. Like the tomb. Compare such words as ptarmigan, psalm, and phthisis.
Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.
-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter
He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years, or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble.
Dark hair fell in a sweep over his forehead. He looked like a man who would write vers libre, as indeed he did.
I was in rare fettle and the heart had touched a new high. I don't know anything that braces one up like finding you haven't got to get married after all.
It ought to be a criminal offence for women to dye their hair. Especially red. What the devil do women do that sort of thing for?
"After all, golf is only a game", said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is any kink in their character. They simply don't realise what they are saying.
However devoutly a girl may worship the man of her choice, there always comes a time when she feels an irresistible urge to haul off and let him have it in the neck.
He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes to its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.
As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
I mean, if you're asking a fellow to come out of a room so that you can dismember him with a carving knife, it's absurd to tack a 'sir' on to every sentence. The two things don't go together.
When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.
The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppence.
The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what has passed.
I attribute my whole success in life to a rigid observance of the fundamental rule - Never have yourself tattooed with any woman's name, not even her initials.
Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.
What ho!" I said. "What ho!" said Motty. "What ho! What ho!" "What ho! What ho! What ho!" After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.
His eyes were rolling in their sockets, and his face had taken on the colour and expression of a devout tomato. I could see he loved like a thousand bricks.
Work, the what's-its-name of the thingummy and the thing-um-a-bob of the what d'you-call-it.
The spine, and I do not attempt to conceal the fact, had become soluble, in the last degree.
...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature.
The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.
It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time.
You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.
I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.
If it were not for quotations, conversations between gentlemen would consist of an endless series of 'what-ho!'s.
The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.
Statisticians estimate that crime among good golfers is lower than in any class of the community except possibly bishops.
To persons of spirit like ourselves the only happy marriage is that which is based on a firm foundation of almost incessant quarrelling.
There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.
It's curious how, when you're in love, you yearn to go about doing acts of kindness to everybody.
We do not tell old friends beneath our roof-tree that they are an offence to the eyesight.
