I shuddered from stem to stern, as stout barks do when buffeted by the waves.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

I conceive disgust at these impertinent and misbecoming familiarities inscribed upon your ordinary tombstone.

I've never been on a movie where they play five-dollar Friday. I must not be very observant.

Spain- a great whale stranded on the shores of Europe.

If you plan cities for cars and traffic, you get cars and traffic. If you plan for people and places, you get people and places.

No one who has any self-respect stays in Ireland, but flees afar as though from a country that has undergone the visitation of an angered Jove.

I think that winning the battle in Hollywood is a necessary condition to winning the culture war.

I never ever take into consideration the consequences of my actions until it's too late.

My home base - pop music and the Catholic Church.

I don't like journalists and I hardly ever talk to them.

I am an American. I love this country.