It ought to be a criminal offence for women to dye their hair. Especially red. What the devil do women do that sort of thing for?

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

Positive life, positive actions.

Photography is all about the perspective!

So what's the deal with you and my sister?" He laughs shortly and rubs the back of his neck like something is there, tickling, tap

The worst evils which mankind has ever had to endure were inflicted by bad governments.

Edged tools are dangerous things to handle, and not infrequently do much hurt.

The fate of all of us here has been to know that we are prisoners of power. No one knows why us in particular, but what a great fortune!

I have three-putted in 40 countries.

It's good news that he is proposing to restore budget cuts that he made, but the reality is that he is still proposing a 4.5 percent increase in tuition that's above inflation.

I never do any album to beat it. I do it to extend it.

Don't make your journey through life harder by placing rules on yourself like, 'I can't get married till I get promoted to your dream job.'