So always look for the silver lining And try to find the sunny side of life.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

In every marriage more than a week old there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find and continue to find grounds for marriage.

An important step in escaping mediocrity is to stop worrying about what other people think of you.

The greater self-confidence an individual possesses, the less inclined he is to put down others. This says a lot about those who constantly belittle.

A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not.

The purpose of sports - even foreign sports - is not to bore people.

We may train or peak for a certain race, but running is a lifetime sport.

You cannot separate the composition from the life of the moment. It is all one thing, to be decided in a split second while you're living through it.

If you can't laugh at yourself, you're cooked!

Q: How would you like your eggs in the morning? A: Unfertilized

The X Factor' is great entertainment, but it doesn't prepare people for getting chewed up and spat out by the music industry.