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H.L. Mencken Quotes

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H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking."

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Kant was probably the worst writer ever heard of on earth before Karl Marx. Some of his ideas were really quite simple, but he always managed to make them seem unintelligible. I hope he is in Hell."

Kant was probably the worst writer ever heard of on earth before Karl Marx. Some of his ideas were really quite simple, but he always managed to make them seem unintelligible. I hope he is in Hell.




H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Evangelical Christianity, as everyone knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love."

Evangelical Christianity, as everyone knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The kind of man who demands that government enforce his ideas is always the kind whose ideas are idiotic."

The kind of man who demands that government enforce his ideas is always the kind whose ideas are idiotic.




H.L. Mencken Quotes: "There is in writing the constant joy of sudden discovery, of happy accident."

There is in writing the constant joy of sudden discovery, of happy accident.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Pedagogues: More than any other class of blind leaders of the blind they are responsible for the degrading standardization which now afflicts the American people."

Pedagogues: More than any other class of blind leaders of the blind they are responsible for the degrading standardization which now afflicts the American people.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven."

Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.




H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A great literature is thus chiefly the product of doubting and inquiring minds in revolt against the immovable certainties of the nation."

A great literature is thus chiefly the product of doubting and inquiring minds in revolt against the immovable certainties of the nation.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause."

It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Well, I tell you, if I have been wrong in my agnosticism, when I die I'll walk up to God in a manly way and say, Sir, I made an honest mistake."

Well, I tell you, if I have been wrong in my agnosticism, when I die I'll walk up to God in a manly way and say, Sir, I made an honest mistake.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A large part of altruism, even when it is perfectly honest, is grounded upon the fact that it is uncomfortable to have unhappy people about one."

A large part of altruism, even when it is perfectly honest, is grounded upon the fact that it is uncomfortable to have unhappy people about one.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy."

The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.




H.L. Mencken Quotes: "In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell."

In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Deep within the heart of every evangelist lies the wreck of a car salesman."

Deep within the heart of every evangelist lies the wreck of a car salesman.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground."

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses."

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good."

There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "What men value in this world is not rights but privileges."

What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier."

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him."

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents."

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing."

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The best teacher of children, in brief, is one who is essentially childlike."

The best teacher of children, in brief, is one who is essentially childlike.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Nine out of ten Americans are actually monarchists at bottom. The fact is proved by their high suseptibility to political claims by president's sons and other relatives, usually nonentities."

Nine out of ten Americans are actually monarchists at bottom. The fact is proved by their high suseptibility to political claims by president's sons and other relatives, usually nonentities.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Journalism is to politician as dog is to lamp-post."

Journalism is to politician as dog is to lamp-post.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to Heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there."

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to Heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A nun, at best, is only half a woman, just as a priest is only half a man."

A nun, at best, is only half a woman, just as a priest is only half a man.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "We suffer most when the White House busts with ideas."

We suffer most when the White House busts with ideas.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be indignant about them."

The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be indignant about them.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "No one ever heard of the truth being enforced by law. When the secular is called in to sustain an idea, whether new or old, it is always a bad idea, and not infrequently it is downright idiotic."

No one ever heard of the truth being enforced by law. When the secular is called in to sustain an idea, whether new or old, it is always a bad idea, and not infrequently it is downright idiotic.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "There are two impossibilities in life: "just one drink" and "an honest politician.""

There are two impossibilities in life: "just one drink" and "an honest politician."



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them."

Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies."

Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Sunday is a day given over by Americans to wishing that the themselves were dead and in Heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in Hell."

Sunday is a day given over by Americans to wishing that the themselves were dead and in Heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in Hell.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The only way for a reporter to look at a politician is down."

The only way for a reporter to look at a politician is down.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "There is always a sheet of paper. There is always a pen. There is always a way out."

There is always a sheet of paper. There is always a pen. There is always a way out.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The most curious social convention of the great age in which we live is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected."

The most curious social convention of the great age in which we live is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Human progress is furthered, not by conformity, but by aberration."

Human progress is furthered, not by conformity, but by aberration.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Politics, as hopeful men practise it in the world, consists mainly of the delusion that a change in form is a change in substance."

Politics, as hopeful men practise it in the world, consists mainly of the delusion that a change in form is a change in substance.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "When fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression."

When fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married."

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it's good-bye to the Bill of Rights."

The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it's good-bye to the Bill of Rights.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil."

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood."

Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "All the great villainies of history, from the murder of Abel onward, have been perpetrated by sober men, chiefly by Teetotalers."

All the great villainies of history, from the murder of Abel onward, have been perpetrated by sober men, chiefly by Teetotalers.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The American people, North and South, went into the [Civil] war as citizens of their respective states, they came out as subjects ... what they thus lost they have never got back."

The American people, North and South, went into the [Civil] war as citizens of their respective states, they came out as subjects ... what they thus lost they have never got back.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Women in general seem to me to be appreciably more intelligent than men. A great many of them suffer in silence from the imbecilities of their husbands."

Women in general seem to me to be appreciably more intelligent than men. A great many of them suffer in silence from the imbecilities of their husbands.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Correct spelling, indeed, is one of the arts that are far more esteemed by schoolma’ams than by practical men, neck-deep in the heat and agony of the world."

Correct spelling, indeed, is one of the arts that are far more esteemed by schoolma’ams than by practical men, neck-deep in the heat and agony of the world.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived."

The final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived.