A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

There is nothing to fear except the persistent refusal to find out the truth.

Grinning is something you do when you are entertained in some way, such as reading a good book or watching someone you don't care for spill orange soda all over themselves.

How do you compete against a true fanatic? You can only try to build the best possible moat and continuously attempt to widen it.

I bowled for two years in college, because I was drunk and needed shoes.

This is what I find encouraging about the writing trades: ... They allow lunatics to seem saner than sane.

I have never been able to understand the artist whose image never changes.

We shall see our friends again. We can lay them in the grave; we know they are safe with God.

With rare exceptions, all of your most important achievements on this planet will come from working with others- or, in a word, partnership.

Propriety's never been Adrian's strong suit.

Leaders must pick causes they won't abandon easily, remain committed despite setbacks, and communicate their big ideas over and over again in every encounter.