Sunday is a day given over by Americans to wishing that the themselves were dead and in Heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in Hell.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Do not cry that it is our duty to serve you. We do not recognize such duty. Do not cry that you need us. We do not consider need a claim. Do not cry that you own us. You don’t.

We have all been placed on this earth to discover our own path and we will never be happy if we live someone else's idea of life.

Grooming is the secret of real elegance. The best clothes, the most wonderful jewels, the most glamorous beauty don't count without good grooming.

practically nothing we do ever stands by itself. If it is good, it will serve some good purpose in the future. If it is evil, it may haunt us and handicap our efforts in unimagined ways.

If people say "no" to you and it's something you really want to do, keep going and you'll succeed.

I'm into video games, but only real specific lame video games. In a more traditional nerd sense, I just read lots of books and I enjoyed school.

People need help to change the way they eat... this is what government is for in my opinion.... We should make food an issue for everyone who runs for office.

I don't like to be a preacher or anything, but the one thing that I've learned is that you truly are what you eat.

Not knowing anything is the sweetest life.

No person is important enough to make me angry.