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H.L. Mencken Quotes

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H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety."

The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety.




H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A cynic is a man who when he smells flowers looks around for a coffin."

A cynic is a man who when he smells flowers looks around for a coffin.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas."

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods."

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.




H.L. Mencken Quotes: "We are here and it is now. Further than that all knowledge is moonshine."

We are here and it is now. Further than that all knowledge is moonshine.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral."

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince."

Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince.




H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The only liberty an inferior man really cherishes is the liberty to quit work stretch out in the sun and scratch himself."

The only liberty an inferior man really cherishes is the liberty to quit work stretch out in the sun and scratch himself.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Time is a great legalizer even in the fields of morals."

Time is a great legalizer even in the fields of morals.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself."

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia: To mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess."

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia: To mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "God is a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh."

God is a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.




H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed and are right."

Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed and are right.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him."

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn't they'd be married too."

Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn't they'd be married too.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line."

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor."

There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Injustice is relatively easy to bear what stings is justice."

Injustice is relatively easy to bear what stings is justice.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously."

It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Hope: A pathological belief in the occurrence of the impossible."

Hope: A pathological belief in the occurrence of the impossible.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Penetrating so many secrets we cease to believe in the unknowable. But there it sits nevertheless calmly licking its chops."

Penetrating so many secrets we cease to believe in the unknowable. But there it sits nevertheless calmly licking its chops.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know."

A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish."

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Happiness is the china shop love is the bull."

Happiness is the china shop love is the bull.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl."

If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable."

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The best client is a scared millionaire."

The best client is a scared millionaire.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots."

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods."

Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it."

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Historian: an unsuccessful novelist."

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Equality before the law is probably forever unattainable. It is a noble ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is not rights but privileges."

Equality before the law is probably forever unattainable. It is a noble ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is not rights but privileges.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "There is in writing the constant joy of sudden discovery, of happy accident."

There is in writing the constant joy of sudden discovery, of happy accident.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Self-respect--the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious."

Self-respect--the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance."

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "You never push a noun against a verb without trying to blow up something."

You never push a noun against a verb without trying to blow up something.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup."

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?"

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary."

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant."

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians."

The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking."

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "There is reinforcement in such familiar back-formations as Chinee from Chinese, Portugee from Portuguese."

There is reinforcement in such familiar back-formations as Chinee from Chinese, Portugee from Portuguese.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "American journalism (like the journalism of any other country) is predominantly paltry and worthless. Its pretensions are enormous, but its achievements are insignificant."

American journalism (like the journalism of any other country) is predominantly paltry and worthless. Its pretensions are enormous, but its achievements are insignificant.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "The kind of man who wants the government to adopt and enforce his ideas is always the kind of man whose ideas are idiotic."

The kind of man who wants the government to adopt and enforce his ideas is always the kind of man whose ideas are idiotic.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Morality and honor are not to be confused. "The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught."

Morality and honor are not to be confused. "The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under."

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.



H.L. Mencken Quotes: "Every great wave of popular passion that rolls up on the prairies is dashed to spray when it strikes the hard rocks of Manhattan."

Every great wave of popular passion that rolls up on the prairies is dashed to spray when it strikes the hard rocks of Manhattan.