Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Eagles fly alone, not because they are proud, but because they are not afraid of soaring above the clouds.

Everything had life to me, ’ he heard Enkidu murmur, ‘the sky, the storm, the earth, water, wandering, the moon and its three children, salt, even my hand had life. It’s gone. It’s gone.

Learn to invest in investments where you can achieve an honest, legal advantage over other investors. When it comes to investing, why play on a level field?

IF YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING THAT TERRIFIES YOU, MOST LIKELY YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING.

The mind has greater power over the emotions, and is less subject thereto, insofar as it understands all things to be necessary.

Complaint is the largest tribute heaven receives and the sincerest part of our devotion.

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat for it is momentary.

We forget, we have a short memory and we're human. This morning my Scripture was Isaiah 26:3, which said, Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee for he trusteth in Thee.

Jeff Ross has a new show on Comedy Central where he roasts the news. It'll be perfect for people who find Jon Stewart too handsome and funny.

Music is the highest art and to those who understand, is the highest worship