Ambrose Quotes

SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.

HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.

An aged Burgundy runs with a beardless Port. I cherish the fancy that Port speaks sentences of wisdom, Burgundy sings the inspired Ode.

gratitude, n. A sentiment lying midway between a benefit received and a benefit expected.

The god of the world's leading religion.

Liberty is one of the imagination's most precious possessions.

Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.

A penny saved is a penny to squander.

Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.

NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.

There is no time of life past learning something.

As a servant desireth the approval of his master, and a son the approval of his father, so should we desire the approval of God and our own conscience.

It is ingrained in all living creatures, first of all, to preserve their own safety, to guard against what is harmful, to strive for what is advantageous.

When you are at Rome, live as Romans live.

When in Rome, live in the Roman way.

There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.

True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.

REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter

ENOUGH, pro. All there is in the world if you like it.

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.

What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion to himself.

PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives.

Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.

We must stop chasing dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature, and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization.

The wife, or bitter half.

Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.

An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.

WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.

Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.

Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.

ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution.

REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.

LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.

LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang because we must.

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral.

Strive not for singularity in dress; Fools have the more and men of sense the less. To look original is not worth while, But be in mind a little out of style.

CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do "me"?

KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward.

PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.

New York is too strenuous for me; it gets on my nerves.

RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience.

Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.