You need to put easy, nice, tranquil thoughts in your head before you go to bed. You know what I do? I read metaphysical books. The good stuff stays in your brain once you go under.

I'm a royal pain in the behind.

To realize the American dream, the most important thing to understand is that it belongs to everybody. It's a human dream. If you understand this and work very hard, it is possible.

People look at you and see that you've made it, but sometimes they forget that it took you years of being a human being.

Latin life is rich with warmth, family values and history. I want to bring that beauty into American homes.

How proud I am to be compared to Oprah. I really admire her. She's a minority woman and she's done all this by herself... I'm very happy to be Oprah with salsa and not Donahue in drag.

I have gotten into a lot of trouble in my life for being brutally honest. Sometimes I put both my feet in my mouth. But like Elton John, I'm still standing.

We Latin women are liberated from the neck up, not the neck down.

For me, the American promise isn't just an idea or a theory - it's my life story.

Being a professional woman, I function the best when I don't distinguish between work and play.

The common denominator all Latinos have is that we want some respect. That's what we're all fighting for.

You get all these friends when just when you don't need friends anymore.

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment.

I've always wanted two kids. I've always wanted a girl and a boy.

I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny.

I hear some new artists that sound country but the record labels and country radio lean more toward a more rock feel for what gets signed to a label and played on the radio.

I know very well that I have no reason to feel aggrieved - I am fully aware of how lucky I am, but knowing it and still being down makes me hate myself all the more.

Pulver's skills as a post-Beat visionary are in rare form. A House of Hollow Wounds is a thrilling foray into the dark frontier of the weird.

I found, especially with stand-up, that if a premise works, you can make the joke work. If a premise doesn't work, you can't force it to.

Your dreams are always going to seem much more profound to you then they are to your friend.

When I got pretty good I went on the road with a group. We starved.